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size I got to like five six hundred pounds it's always one thing it's you were abused as a kid and that abuse almost always includes sexual abuse especially for the women like all of these women that get really really rapid tone diet big so many of them had received sexual abuse at some point their childhood but it involves like some sort of mental and physical abuse and I got it in space for the moment I was born like I my father being an alcoholic and him being abusive and my mother being abusive and and my sister my mother being broken and they were both older than me so they were able to do c

razy stuff too and it just it 18 ye rapid tone ars of of just straight out misery when I was 15 I'd had enough at 15 I was just ready to die at 15 and it didn't get any better did the food come from somewhere because why was it food would you it wasn't the decision to be this is what I'm gonna use to kill my mom mom would use um food as like a like there's a tool of the abuse I mean I sat down when I was 25 years old that she told me I'm sorry I fed you wrong I did it on purpose like she knew what she was doing she