Sex Tips for Long Distance Relationships
Sex Tips for Long Distance Relationships
all right this is one of those you asked and here's an
answer because one of the most common questions i have been getting during
these times and actually before this too is tips for keeping a long-distance
relationship super alive and passionate uh when you can't see each other
physically that often or at all so there's actually a lot of good that can come
from a long distance relationship so you get to form a deeper emotional
connection and bond that doesn't get disrupted by some of the crazy that we all
know happens when you go in body to body right when you're having sex you can
go like you basically get high on your own chemicals and it can delude you
about the nature of a relationship about the nature of a person so when i was
dating i actually had a three week rule for a long period of time where i
wouldn't sleep with anyone for three weeks because people always tend to show
who they are during that time so a long distance relationship is actually a
beautiful opportunity to really get to know someone without getting like all
kinds of clouded on the sexual chemistry front it's also a tremendous
opportunity to build ,
rituals of
connection and sharing and intimacy into your relating because when you live
together the days can kind of blend and you have busy schedules and all of that
it's much easier because you're going to set up times to talk to each other
anyways in long distance to say okay on wednesday nights at 5 pm we do our
fears desires and love sharing right or on sundays at 10 a.m we actually do eye
gazing and heart breath and sharing afterwards so it's much easier i find
during a long distance period to really create that structure that's going to
support you when you're back together as well as right now we have so many
amazing technologies that make intergalactic technological sex possible and
maybe mark zuckerberg is watching you maybe not nobody knows but the point is
you gotta be free you gotta live so i'll be talking to you about some of those
ways that you can still keep your sex life super alive and super passionate and
super active one cool thing about a long distance relationship is you can
actually extend the honeymoon period because that longing that mystery that
sense of not being able to just have someone right when you want them is
heightened when you're in long distance you can also really develop other
skills so something that i recommend is starting to really get good at sexting
which means telling someone exactly what you would do to them if they were
there in person really finding out what turns on your partner is it the way
that you talk is it energy flirtation is it gifts it's a real time to study
their love language and also learn how to be super explicit so this is a thing
that when couples actually are together all the time they can get a bit lazy
about being explicit with each other about turning each other on about flirting
with each other via text or video and so if you develop this skill now it will
serve you in your full relationship experience so some really great ideas to
try are to share from your point of view memories of your hottest sexual
experiences together things that you miss about your partner things that you're
craving from them this is also a great time to figure out how to take super
sexy photos of yourself so here is a pro tip lighting is everything you can
actually get little iphone lights or mini ring lights that are super affordable
and they will make you look way hotter in your photos so it's great to send
sexy sensual teasing photos and to figure out what actually turns your partner
on you can ask them what would you like to see of me right now and then do your
best to send some super erotic photos you can also describe self-pleasuring
sessions you can do this via video or text and you can also send audio clips of
yourself describing your fantasies with your partner what you're experiencing
in the moment if you're in any way worried about any of these photos or videos
being made public you can send them via an app called signal which is double
end to end encrypted and used for all manner of shady things and also all
manner of erotic and explicit things you can also set for your text and your
videos to automatically delete after 24 hours which can be really awesome as
well if you want to make sure that those never fall into the wrong hands you
can have signal app calls or face timing videos where you strip for each other
ask each other to do things to each other or ask each other like basically you
can say i want to see you do x y and z and have your partner do it for you and
then they can express what they want to see from you so you can have super sexy
masturbation time this also really helps remove shame from your relationship so
sometimes when you can just like get together and have intercourse you lose
some of that creativity also as well it's so empowering for a couple to lose
any sense of shame around self-pleasuring around the way you touch yourself and
so what can be so amazing actually is through this time you can develop a
really shameless relationship to how you self-pleasure how you express yourself
sexually how you show up and ask each other for what you want to see so it's
actually a rich opportunity to deepen your sexual connection even though you're
apart so you can surprise and delight each other with a secret photo album
that's ultra sexy you can send your partner photos on the regular or videos on
the regular and really challenge yourself get over some of that like
nervousness i know that i've had it actually i'm part of a whatsapp group where
like we're not going to go into details but like part of the things you're
supposed to set like like share like ass photos of yourself it's actually a
friend group but like it's like part of the thing and i was like oh what if my
ass doesn't look good enough like how could i actually like photograph my own
ass and i was like lately you can do this like if not you then who right so i
was like in front of the mirror trying all the lighting and it was actually
like a beautiful way to explore my own sensuality my own uh blind spots around
where i get nervous or insecure and also it's a great challenge to be like how
can i make my ass look as amazing as possible with just me a single light and
my iphone right it's like that's a sunday so get yourself into it drop into it
really apply yourself to figure out how can i look sexy in videos how can i
tease this will help you throughout your entire relationship you can also set
up really sexy date nights so bubble bath date nights together shared hike experiences
really do things together realize that you can do a lot together via video you
can share meals really sharing your day if your partner loves gifts if that's
their love language then make sure to ship them cool stuff send them stuff
that's going to surprise and delight them if your partner loves words of
affirmation make sure to compliment them send them compliments every single day
if your partner loves quality time make sure to set up lots of dates lots of
sexual experiences and if your partner likes oh what is the oh acts of service
find out what you can do for them find out how you can show up for them in
their life even when you're distant so basically don't let the distance be an
excuse to let your relationship founder flounder founder flounder but make sure
to have this time apart be a way to grow together stronger and fall even more
in love one of my favorite exercises that couples absolutely love is called
fears desires and loves this is a 12 to 15 minute process where you actually do
structured sharing with each other and i find that when you're apart this can
be so good for the heart to actually share what you're afraid of what you
desire and what you love about each other it creates deep intimacy and
if you get this practice down while you're apart you'll
continue to practice it while you're together which really will strengthen and
deepen your relationship.
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